One Cup of Coffee
by So Gold
Summary: In which both Sirius and Remus find a job, a boyfriend, and redemption.   Post-MWPP AU featuring alive!James & Lily, free!Sirius, crusader!Peter, and never-went-to-Hogwarts!Remus.


Title: One Cup of Coffee

Summary: In which both Sirius and Remus find a job, a boyfriend, and redemption. Post-MWPP AU of the highest order, featuring alive!James & Lily, free!Sirius, crusader!Peter, and never-went-to-Hogwarts!Remus.

Rating: R at most

Enjoy! Feedback is welcome.

**Note: I am currently looking for a beta for this fic. If interested, please message me. Thanks!**

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On the eve of his twenty-first birthday, Sirius Black the Third put aside his womanizing ways for good.

He had been considering it for a while, perhaps ever since that first unfortunate glance at Regulus' cramped, ugly baby face, whereupon Sirius had ardently vowed that no such creature would ever comes from _his_ loins, or perhaps since his best friend had sold his soul to a red-haired enchantress and become a domesticated bore. It wouldn't be long until Prongs, too, a married man, would go the way of his mother - completely around the bend - and live out his days screeching obscenities and torturing house elves and young children. Yes: even at twenty, Sirius Black had reasons all the way back to Phineas Nigellus to save his sanity and discontinue the family line.

"The birds'll miss me, but hey," he explained, lazily sprawled on his belly across Lily's favorite rug, "We all make sacrifices for the cause, and a wizard can't have a wife and kids to mind while hunting the Dark Lord."

Predictably, James laughed. "And what about me, you git?"

Sirius huffed and rolled onto his back, watching his friend pick another chocolate frog from the mound of presents beside him. "What _about_ you? As if Peter was the one who skipped out on the full moon run to plan a 'romantic dinner on the beach.'" He barked out a laugh as James turned bright red and pelted him with a half-melted chocolate limb.

The two sat for a moment in companionable silence, listening to the soft sounds of Lily seeing off Mr. and Mrs. Potter at the door. Sirius dug his fingers into the plush crimson carpet, watching a slow smile trace its way up James' face as the baby giggled softly in the next room. James' strong hand tightened around Harry's little plush stag - "Prongs" - in his lap, and Sirius grinned as well, glancing at little Padfoot a few feet away - before catching sight of his friend's other hand creeping towards his pocket -

"_TARANTALLEGRA_!"

Cursing, Sirius was jerked upright, arms flailing as his legs tapped out a crazed jig around the room. James shook with laughed, meanwhile, and fell back on an impressive pile of chocolate frog cards.

"I'll get you!" Sirius gasped between breaths, his threatening tone at odds with the smile splitting his face. "Fancy - losing your - Cleansweep? Fancy - Lily knowing about that love - potion - you brought along - on your first date?"

James Potter continued to howl, mirthfully beating Prongs against the newly unwrapped Muggle tool kit at the top of the pile beside him.

"Fancy _venison, _you berk? Fancy-" Sirius' enraged voice cut off as his foot caught on Padfoot's beady-eyed little head and he came crashing down on Peter's gift. Groaning in pain, he raised himself off the pointed object - but not before his legs gave one last kick and sent the crisp corner of _The Suffering and Suffrage of House Elves, New and Revised_ digging into his ribs again.

James continued to snicker, watching through foggy lenses as Sirius pushed himself onto his side with effort, both the spell and its victim now exhausted. Grey eyes met his, alight with reluctant amusement, and he crowed, "A hex a year, Padfoot. And you fall for it every time!"

They heard the closing of the front door followed by Lily's soft footfalls away from it. Sirius abandoned his own attempt to slip out his wand and settled for halfheatedly throwing a bent Albus Dumbledore card at James instead.

His best friend simply grinned and watched as his wife stepped into the room, bringing along the scent of fresh homemade pumpkin cake. She picked Prongs off the floor and sat down next to its life-sized counterpart, leaning in for a kiss as Harry's soft snores sounded in the hallway.

Sirius watched their affection gleefully, unable to supress a snicker at the blush creeping from under James' collar and the somewhat stupefied expression on his face. Even a few years into their relationship, James still looked as if he expected the red-haired witch to take off points whenever he looked her way.

The couple continued to gaze at each other until their forgotten companion made loud gagging noises in their direction. Eyes narrowed, their heads turned violently to Sirius squirming ostentatiously from the floor a few feet away. "Got a hairball in there, Black?" snapped Lily.

"A rather big, mushy, soppy one, actually," he returned slyly, "Perhaps you two should retreat to your bedroom before I make a big mess of it here."

Lily rolled her eyes and leaned back into her husband, who had indeed been eyeing the doorway and looked vaguely disappointed. "Mr. and Mrs. Potter are convinced you're seeing someone, Sirius," she said. "Apparently they've seen you skulking about Diagon Alley and don't know you well enough to know you're probably just practicing hexes on small children passing by."

Sirius chuckled and folded his strong arms under his head. "They must have mistaken me for my brother, then," he said, and then trailed off, "I've only…"

James shoved another chocolate frog into his mouth. "Yeah? What's in Diagon Alley for you, then?" His wife glanced at Sirius.

The eyes of the animagus in question flicked hastily to the floor beside him, and his arms came up quickly to hide his reddening expression from James' smirking face. The couple leaned forward intently, trying to understand his mumbles-

"_I'm looking for a job, alright?"_

James couldn't help himself and began laughing again. "Sirius Black…Ancient and Noble House…jobless stray…NEWTs and a mountain of Gringotts gold and _can't…find…a job_!"

Sirius whipped out his wand furiously and barked, "LEVICOR-"

"Not while I'm sitting here, Sirius Black," Lily said loudly, defensively clutching Prongs to her chest. "And you great git, shut up. It isn't Sirius' fault that the Ministry can be just as prejudiced as his family. You can't blame him for wanting to make gold of his own, either."

"Alright, alright. Down, boy. You know I didn't mean it." James reached for another chocolate frog, features still twitching in a well-hidden smile.

Sirius growled and shoved his wand back in his pocket. With another huff, he buried his face in the rich carpet.

After a few moments, James chuckled again. Sirius' head snapped up. Lily tossed Prongs away from herself exasperatedly. Harry gurgled in the other room.

"Well, it's just that…"

Sirius' neat eyebrows met.

"Well, what 'womanizing ways' are you on about anyway, mate?"

Lily looked curiously at Sirius, who now seemed confused. "What do you think? Looking at birds, talking about 'em, talking to 'em, thinking about 'em and the like. It's not for me."

James squeezed Lily's waist as if prompting her to say something. "I guess…" she said faintly, "I guess that wouldn't be so hard for you, right?"

Now both men looked confused. They sat silently, glancing first at her and then at each other.

James began, a slight grin on his face, "Lily, Sirius is a bloke, and blokes-"

His wife rolled her eyes exasperatedly.

"-have a hard time giving these things up. Er - even Sirius, who's never actually been with a girl before. Maybe you don't know what-"

Sirius groaned. "Shut up, Prongs. My family murdered my libido, alright? Not to mention watching the two of you moon over each other over puddles of Harry's drool, too." His eyes were trained suspiciously on Lily's grinning face.

"Look, mate, don't take this the wrong way, but I think you really should find a girlfriend. There are plenty of women out there, and, frankly, you're not exactly the Giant Squid yourself-"

"You're an idiot," said Lily, cutting in.

"-so maybe you just haven't found her yet. Don't let one insane woman turn you off to birds forever. You need to look harder-"

"_One_ insane woman? What about Aunt Bellatrix, Narcissa, their mum, Malfoy's mum, their mum's mum, your wife-"

"-and find the right one. Not all of us can be so lucky to find someone like Lily in their first year of school," with a fond glance at Lily, "so what are you looking for? I like red hair and green eyes-"

"Brown hair, I guess. Shorter is better. A nice jawline." Sirius bit his lip in thought.

Lily hid her smile behind her hand.

"-great knockers and long legs-"

Sirius looked bemused. "Height is a plus, I suppose."

Lily giggled.

"-small feet like Lily's and a curvy figure-"

Now Sirius looked faintly horrified. "No, mate, a bit of muscle is better." His eyebrows knit as he looked down at himself. "But big knockers-"

"You're an idiot, too," Lily proclaimed.

"-and a cute face to top it off. And a great smile." James Potter gazed at his wife.

Sirius scratched his head and looked at the ceiling, troubled.

"I guess there weren't many girls like that at Hogwarts. Only the best for my Best Man," said James.

"Yeah," said Sirius faintly. "A cute face. Friendly. Someone who I could relate to…"

James egged him on. "That's it, Padfoot. What else?"

Sirius was blushing but determinedly sat up and straightened his shoulders. "Smart. In love with Quidditch. Doesn't care about money. A powerful - witch." He looked askance at Lily.

James turned to his wife as well. "Hey Lils, you know anyone like that?"

Lily looked at him affectionately and then turned to Sirius before softly stating, "You're both idiots. Merlin."

James laughed, confused. "This is serious, Lily. Don't you think Sirius should find a bird for himself?"

Lily opened her mouth but quickly closed it. The two men watched as she bent to pick up Padfoot, obviously lost in thought, stroking its soft fur and straightening its ears. After a few moments, her hands stilled and she gave a great sigh, standing Padfoot beside Prongs on the floor. "I just don't understand how the two of you don't-" She cut herself off and then looked into Sirius' eyes. "Maybe it would be better if you concentrated on finding a job instead." She looked at James and reached up to rub away a speck on his glasses.

James leaned back after the action was completed and looked supportively at his best friend, who now looked somewhat upset. "That's true," he said, "I guess it's more important that Padfoot shows the Ministry what they've given up by turning him down as an Auror."

Sirius' jaw immediately tightened. "If the Ministry doesn't want me, there are still other ways I can help to fight this war. I hear Dumbledore's even found use for Dark Creatures, and I can't possibly be worse than that, even to my _family_," he spat.

"Sirius…" murmured Lily.

James tugged gently on her hair. "We know, Lils. Sirius didn't mean it like that." Then he chuckled and said, "Peter's our friend, too, and all his furry critters are our friends as well."

They sat for a few moments in contemplative silence.

"I want to invent something."

Green and hazel eyes turned to him curiously.

"Maybe-" Sirius began, rubbing his cheeks roughly with the back of his arm. "I want to _do_ something. I can't be one of them anymore. I won't. I just-" His hands groped violently on the floor and fisted around an unopened chocolate frog, which he tore into frustratedly. Shoving the squirming confection into his mouth, he glared at the thin cardboard - Dumbledore again - and threw it at Padfoot, saying, "_Fuck the Ministry."_

Lily scooted over to his side and rested her head on his tense shoulder. After a few seconds, Sirius relaxed, closed his eyes, and leaned into her.

James picked up the Albus Dumbledore card and flipped it over idly. The tiny Headmaster had already left. "Hey," he said suddenly. "Padfoot."

Sirius opened his eyes, not bothering to move from the comfortable position.

"You know Arthur Weasley?" asked James, "That fellow from the Order. With red hair."

"Yeah?"

"He's a Ministry fellow, too. Works with the Magical Objects division, sometimes with dark artifacts like the ones your mum hoards in the attic."

"What about him?" Sirius sat up a little.

"He said-" James wrinkled his brow. "He's looking for an assistant. Nothing special and probably a waste of your talent, but it might give you an in with the Ministry if you're looking for one."

Sirius grinned. "He's the bloke who always brings the Muggle rubbish to the Order meetings."

James smiled back. "That's the one. What do you say?"

"Sounds perfect. Give me his office number. He wouldn't turn away an Order member in need." Sirius put his arm around Lily's shoulders and squeezed her happily.

Harry cried from the other room.

"That's me," said Lily, stopping James from getting up. "You two stay here. I'll be upstairs if you need me later." The two animagi nodded. "Oh - and happy birthday, Padfoot," she said sweetly.

"Thanks, Lils."

They listened as her footsteps faded in the hallway.

"Thanks, Prongs."

James grinned and lay down next to Padfoot and Prongs. "No problem, Pads. But you know…"

Sirius looked up, sensing the change in mood.

James' bespectacled eyes observed him from the floor. "Your mother doesn't have any hold over you anymore. You don't need to do this just to spite your family," he said bluntly.

Sirius was silent for a few moments. Finally, he sighed again and lay next to James. "I know. I just want to do something, Prongs."

James looked at him, understanding in his hazel eyes.

"I just don't want to be useless."


End file.
